a map to romance

A forgettable character on a memorable American TV programme set in the Big Apple once argued that romance needs room to grow. Hence, there are so many single people in Manhattan because the island lacks the space for love. More than 10,000 miles away lies this island, with its own particular romantically challenged disposition. While Bali’s land area may dwarf New York City’s, it is still, by all measures, quite a compact locale in which to mix and mingle. So what is a single gal or guy seeking a tropical rendezvous or a lasting affair to do during this greeting card company-fabricated season of romance? What you need is a concise map that matches your particular romantic proclivities to the perfect setting.

the balcony restaurant and bar 

Don’t overlook the seasoned surfer as a potential partner. A surfer is apt to rival an Olympic sprinter and has a demonstrated capacity for enduring romance: he has been in a committed relationship with the ocean for years. While the allure of the waves will surely and frequently draw him to the sea and away from your arms, a towheaded surfer may be just the fix a kindred worshipper of the waves needs. But don’t head to the beach to find your beach bum, where he’s sure to be distracted by the siren call of the sea. Instead, meet him on neutral territory at The Balcony Restaurant and Bar in Legian, a favourite spot for some of the world’s best surfers, who stop to enjoy strong drinks, great live music and a birds-eye view of late-night partiers stumbling along the streets of Kuta.

brewer’s beer garden legian 

A beer devotee who would dismiss a romantic dinner with Champagne and candlelight in preference to toasting a beer-loving lover on V Day, one who is sure to forgive his occasional belch and ignore his expanding waistline, doesn’t have to spend his time drinking that usual flavourless yellow beverage in the green bottle (rumour has it this “pilsner” is preserved with formaldehyde) that leaves you dispirited and desperate for a proper pint. Instead look no further than Brewer’s Beer Garden for your favourite imports or a tasty local brew. In addition to offering an impressive array of lagers, porters and ales sure to satisfy the wistful beer lover, Brewer’s hosts live shows by some of Indonesia’s best music acts, from reggae rebel Ras Muhammad to moody blues trio Dialog Dini Hari.

jazz café 

If your heart belongs to jazz, then by all means leave the drum-and-bass hell of Kuta and make for the hills. In Ubud, head to one of Bali’s best live music venues, Jazz Café, where you can share your love of Billie and Dizzie with a fellow aficionado and take a turn on the dance floor. The house band will be happy to accommodate your requests for jazz’s best love ballads. Ask for Coltrane and Hartman’s “My One and Only Love” to send a strong signal of your affection. Or if the atmosphere is clearly cooling and you want a quick escape route, tell them to play Cannonball Adderly’s “Love for Sale”, a tale of a prostitute and her patrons. There’s more than jazz on the menu here: if you’re looking to get down, dirty, and funked up in good company, check out Thursday nights for the funkalicious program “Souled Out”.

naughty nuri’s 

Some of us share a particularly strong disdain for all things roses, for chocolate boxes and pink and red hearts, and all we really want in February is to get sloshed and land a forgettable one-nighter. What better drug of choice is there for such a night of drunken debauchery than the margarita? And no one makes one meaner than the “bartenders” at the famed rib shack Naughty Nuri’s (in Ubud and Batubelig). Most nights the pickings may be slim, but with the amount of tequila in your glass, you’ll easily overlook the slightly troglodytic features of your beau du jour. But don’t dismiss him too quickly; if he holds your hair while you retch in the morning, you may find that you, like many other tequila-soaked lovers, have found romance in the water closet.

rock bar 

While some prefer the naughty, others swoon for the nice. And there is no nicer or more exquisite locale for the quintessential (read: cliché) Valentine’s Day date than The Rock Bar at Ayana Resort and Spa. Don’t think of the taunts you’re sure to suffer from your mates when you fess up to your plan to find true love at sunset on a cliff-face balcony overlooking the sea. If it’s true that like attracts like, then romance is sure to breed in this hyperbolically romantic setting. So be a man and raise a glass filled with the bar’s signature Ayana Passion cocktail, and toast true love. But beware: the setting may so intoxicate you with amorous fantasy that you could find yourself on one knee a tad prematurely.